I decided to cut out the chemicals. I’m depressed at times because of the chronic pain I suffer from, not due to chemical imbalance. In such cases, I am an advocate and supporter, but in my case, popping pills was not really accomplishing much. I decided to seek an alternative route: RHODIOLA! It took several weeks of weaning off the Cipralex – complete with a few crying jags and fits of frustration – before I was off it altogether with little to no effect. In the interim, I was extremely cautious with my diet, although I did give in to a craving or two. I consider the consumption of a chai latté or some popcorn a small price to pay to kick the chemicals.

Rhodiola rosea may be effective for improving mood and alleviating depression. Studies on human subjects demonstrated that it improves physical and mental performance (YES!), and may reduce fatigue. (YES!)

Rhodiola’s effects are potentially mediated by changes in serotonin and dopamine levels due to monoamine oxidase inhibition and its influence on opioid peptides such as beta-endorphin, although these specific neurochemical mechanisms have not been clearly documented with scientific studies. Rhodiola is included among a class of plant derivatives called adaptogens[*], which differ from chemical stimulants, such as nicotine, and do not have the same physiological effects.

[*] – An adaptogen is a metabolic regulator which increases the ability of an organism to adapt to environmental factors, and to avoid damage from such factors. (more)

Tragedy is a subjective term.

A tragedy to one person may be water off a duck’s back to another. With such diversity as human beings, it is virtually impossible to predict how a less-than-ideal situation will affect anyone until they are actually having the experience.

I could have never imagined how I would react to the need for a wheelchair. I am constantly astounded by my reaction and adjustment to this new reality. Most of the time, it is EASY. It is easy because I see the potentiality in it. Sitting in a chair has made me a better public speaker. It only took 3 speeches for me to grasp the full implication of this: from this “tragedy” of my body, I am in a better position in fulfilling my dreams of being a motivational speaker and author.

I’m not going to get all metaphysical about this experience of the body that I’m having. I could dwell on it indefinitely and come up with lists of reasons “why” and state conclusively that it’s happening for this specific reason. I don’t believe this; it is what it is. What it is, however, is something of a irritation that is blossoming into opportunity!

This “tragedy” has given me the focus and a passionate drive to rise above it. ♥

…except that I didn’t fall …

Having a number of body piercings and having to go for an MRI is a bit of a conundrum. I had them removed the evening prior and felt… very naked. The next morning, following 2 MRIs, I kept thinking of the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme. Could all the kings horses and all the kings men, put Rebecca together again? Indeed they could – or at least, the king’s piercer at Stigmata! It was fascinating to observe that a very inorganic substance inserted through human flesh can feel natural if it’s there for a length of time.

“I teach something called The Law of Probabilities, which says the more things you try, the more likely one of them will work. The more books you read, the more likely one of them will have an answer to a question that could solve the major problems of your life.. make you wealthier, solve a health problem, whatever it might be.” –
Jack Canfield, Success Coach

I AM closer, and in facing it head-on, I am positively excited (and optimistic) over my life rather than existing in a state of fear. Instead of thinking “woe is me; the pain is so intense that I have to use a wheelchair”, my new thought is “this is great; I’m going to build some serious arm muscle and get a nice cardio-workout”. Instead of thinking that I can’t do a certain something, I marinate on creative ways in which I can. A turn-around in thought is an incredible and valuable gift – to myself, from myself; Merry Christmas 2011, Rebecca. A new way of looking at circumstance is indeed a precious gift. With this, I am most certainly closer than I was yesterday, last week, last month, or last year. Hell, I am closer than I was years ago in a perfect physical casing because of the inner depth which I was previously lacking. Certainly a blessing! ♥

Whether suffering from a chronic illness or not, every human being will experience a “Dark Night of the Soul” at some point in their life. Dealing with health challenges or disability may result in more long, dark nights. I am no stranger to them. At times, the pain – both mental and physical – is so great that I am unable to conceive of a way through. But there is! There is always a way though. It’s a hard but BLESSED lesson to learn.

1. Hope that tomorrow will be better
2. Acknowledge the good of today and immerse yourself in it
3. Keep a gratitude list and smile with each entry
4. Extend a gesture of kindness to another
5. Have a cup of tea and dream within your abilities
6. HOPE

Last week, I experienced two new body therapies for the second time – only one of which I will (still) show a photo of – for obvious reasons once I share the two: Colon Hydrotherapy and an Ion Detox Foot Bath. Guess which one is depicted to the left? [*slightly sardonic smile, AGAIN*] The Ion Detox was therapy #1. I was much more relaxed as I knew what to expect from the “other”, and instead of worrying, I just relaxed and and enjoyed the colors. The water was orange-brown again, but even darker this time – it almost looked black from certain angles. The consistency was still rather sludge-like *waves to Shrek at his cottage*. I was prepared for the toxic foot sludge, feeling dizzy after, the scope in my backside, the process of the treatment, etc. etc. What I wasn’t prepared for was “how much I left behind” and how much lighter I felt – quite remarkable for a woman who less less than 110lbs! Perhaps I may be questioned why I am using these (among) two of my therapies? Well, considering the serious detoxification diet I’m on nutritionally, it seemed prudent to detox by other means as well.

My initial and followup reaction is that yes, the experience was/is certainly beneficial to the plumbing and I fully intend to continue on this course of action

Both of these photos represent the triumph of the human spirit (to me). The first is a well known public figure – a Canadian (and International!) hero, Terry Fox. The second is a lesser known figure, my husband. Terry Fox is a reminder to me that I need to persevere. Through my husband, I find triumph through the trials and tribulations of life. “Get busy living, or get busy dying” is my favorite Hollywood line, taken from the Shawshank Redemption. I am in pain, and I cannot walk well. I’m NOT dying, so why do I act like it at times? I find the times are getting less and less, and I am accepting my situation with grace while dealing with my health in a hard-core nutritional fashion! An international and an every-day hero are reminders to me to GET BUSY LIVING!